Over the last few days I have been working on a new painting. It is inspired by the stages that we go through. Some are full of highs, some are low points in our lives. All help us grow, learn and gain wisdom if we allow that to happen. From Ken and from my mother who died of pulmonary fibrosis in 2002, I have learned how to live and how to approach death. These are powerful and comforting gifts.
Stages 1 - Full sheet Arches Watercolor Board
Ken ended his life in peace and comfort at 9:00 pm on Christmas Eve at St Vincent’s Hospice. Appropriately It’s a Wonderful Life was playing on the TV in his room. He is no longer in pain. His fight is over.
When we received his diagnosis and were told that his cancer was aggressive and advanced I asked him if he wanted to start a bucket list. He said, “I am not afraid to die. I have no regrets. I have nothing left undone.” I pray we are all so lucky.
We both want to thank you for your kindness and generosity – for your blessings and prayers. You were our teachers and enriched our lives.
I want to thank all of my friends in the blogging world for your kindness and for sending blessings, prayers and positive thoughts our way. It has been a very trying and challenging period for us. To make a long story short I will tell you only that in the last two and a half weeks Ken has been in two hospitals and last Thursday he was admitted to inpatient hospice. His pain was uncontrolled and he has refused to eat and drink. At the hospice they have adjusted his pain management plan and he is painfree at this time. We have had two and a half days of comfort, quiet and peace. If this continues he will probably come home Monday afternoon. Hospice will be with us from here on out and they are wonderful and the facility is homelike and incredibly peaceful and comfortable.
I have only had the energy to do one drawing. It is in colored pencil and as you can see was done several days ago. It is my little Sami girl and I am still trying to capture the fact that she glows with light.
Sami Girl Redux in Colored Pencil
I don’t know how often I will be able to post. Ken will have my attention from here on out. Thank you all again for your kindness, generosity and support.
Three days of rain…gray and gloomy…another 7 hours in the emergency room…hard days!
I thought about the rain and began to think that the sky was crying. I started a new painting and I knew this one would be dark without the flashes of light. I did capture a few steps in the process. Step one was an underpainting to begin to develop texture and a general color scheme.
The Sky Wept - Step 1
As you can see I reversed my normal orientation. I saw the rain as falling and wanted a feeling of downward movement. For step 2 I began to develop the layers of the design and to build the colors in layers.
The Sky Wept - Step 2
Finally I am showing the finished painting. I am not really happy with it but am afraid if I keep tweaking it I will just totally mess it up. Anyway – the sky wept hard and long and cold. But now the sun is out and I’m hoping that is a good omen.
